Fortification of the ego.

We are frequently placed in circumstances where we must defend ourselves. When there is an exchange in a relationship, one person will always speak up to prove that they are correct.

We had an adventure with “Hun” last week, and I learned a lot. Importantly, I learned that, while she expressed regret for some of the acts, she refused to accept defeat. She remained defensive, and I was defensive of my behavior as well. As things began to settle down, I was reminded of an episode from Everybody Hates Chris in which Terry Crews alias Julius says to Tyler James Williams alias Chris, his son in the series, “You will be a man the moment you learn to say sorry to a lady even when she has done you wrong.” Chris seemed surprised that her father had to apologize when her mother had done something wrong, and he couldn’t understand why.

Sigmund Freud in 1894,1896 had done some study on human ego and he had derived at some defenses humans would use to defend their ego from anxiety, guilt and unwanted feelings. From this a definition came up as:

Defense mechanisms are psychological strategies that are unconsciously used to protect a person from anxiety arising from unacceptable thoughts or feelings.

Why do we use defenses.

Because the ego is the part of the human psyche that deals with reality, it must deal with opposing demands from the id, super ego, and reality. The id satisfies a person’s desires, needs, and impulses while also taking into account societal appropriateness and values. The super ego is more idealistic and moral in its outlook. People cling to their values, religious beliefs, social acceptance, and family lessons in this area.

The ego’s defense mechanisms primarily protect it from confrontations with the id, superego, and reality. This also aids us in coping with anxiety and other unpleasant feelings.

Types of defenses.

People can utilize a variety of defenses, but for the purposes of this article, I’ll focus on the following six:

1. Repression -The ego uses repression as an unconscious technique to keep thoughts from becoming conscious. Attraction to parents of the opposite sex, for example, suppresses aggression from same-sex parents in both the Electra and Oedipus complexes.
2. Denial-Denial is the refusal to face an unpleasant situation. It can also be described as obstructing awareness of external occurrences. Smokers, for example, refuse to believe that smoking is harmful and continue to smoke.
3. Projection -The act of assigning your own unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and situations to another person is known as projection. For example, I could tell myself that someone despises me when, in reality, it is I who despises them.
4. Displacement -Displacement is the act of using a substitute to satisfy a need, such as going home and kicking my dog because my supervisor had irritated me at work.
5. Regression -When confronted with a stressful scenario, people experience regression, which is a backward movement in psychic time.
6. Sublimation -Sublimation, which is more akin to displacement, involves replacing urges with socially acceptable methods. For instance, sports and constructive activities can be used.

Defenses are natural and reasonable, but when they are utilized excessively, they might lead to fixation, phobias, or hysteria. As a result, we should agree that defenses will accompany us, but that they should not be misused. Overall, bolstering your ego is OK.